Impurity 

Bright peachy walls that 

guarded my youthful birdiness once –

I still remember reasons 

why green was my favourite colour,

and how I played keys

while looking at instructions,

and how I disliked the melted river

of milk chocolate on my tongue…

as if trying to rebel

against the recipe 

of how to be a child.

Leather-bound coins 

and little front pockets

were my weekly reminders 

that I’m still breathing.

Together with stains 

on my maroon clothes 

that I carefully inspected

with my fingers.

I never managed to wash 

that 

one 

stain 

off.

I drifted 

between poverty of feelings 

and the need to find compassion.

I gullibly trusted my intuition 

that sometimes 

just failed me –

like an exam I didn’t care to study for.

Always drifting,

always trying to find 

that perfect spot in life,

and make it my best friend.

That only one.

There were bars on my window

when I tried to breathe in 

the winter air,

and I still remember the smell

of the morning snow, 

mixed with metal,

while

watching others 

enjoying the freedom of coldness. 

So I created mine indoors. 

Freezing my heart with indifference 

and preserving the purity 

of the iron untouchability. 

Alone was my middle name,

a symphony written for one. 

Nobody liked me,

yet everybody loved me. 

They still do. 

It’s time for that girl to come back.

– Chatty Owl –

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41 thoughts on “Impurity 

  1. Oloriel says:

    Very powerful, I could recognise myself in a few lines. I wish you know that you should always be just who you are and not to be affraid to discover or re-discover yourself.
    I have missed reading your writing, and am mighty glad to see you on the interwebz. Hope you are having a lovely summer!

    • Chatty Owl says:

      Thanks, my gorgeous! And I’m glad you found yourself in these lines. Im always happy to trigger memories for others. It was a long break for me. I hope I’m back now!

  2. punktyras says:

    Today was the day i thought about owls a lot. Was it just a pure incident i’ve heard so long and beautifull wohoo tonight?

  3. dokurtybitz says:

    Wonderful as always, your words fill a parched void in my soul, only they can fill, I love how they let me see, through your eyes, the scene as it unfolds. Well done

    • Chatty Owl says:

      Hey, my dear! It’s been way too long! Thanks for being sweet and stopping by! I will have so much to catch up with in the next few days!

  4. KhaoZ says:

    Hey, dear, lovely to read you again after all this time. I am a bit out of wordpress, too, but … anyway, just wanted you to know, I missed your poems.

    Hugs. Much love.

  5. Salty Frosting says:

    Well, well, well… The idea popped into my head to check here this morning… So glad I did. It’s the details in this that paint the picture… I can see the comeback forming… I gotta think though, there must have been at least one who loved AND liked…. Else, the hiatus may not have been born… No matter… The path is long and windy, sometimes dark and not recognizable… Yet it still manages to make impressions as it crosses another… This latest impression is classic “ice queen” M. (thankfully)

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