THIEF

Clothes. Torn.
Like my heart in your hands.
In pieces.

I scream. Loud to your mind.
To drown the guilt.
We both hear.

Neck. Arched.
So is my back.
To make you want my legs.
Around you.

Are you the type
that falls in love
with taken men?

I am the type
that steals them.

– Chatty Owl –

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57 thoughts on “THIEF

  1. Bob says:

    Promising, but i find the last two para’s are ambiguous and don’t follow the tone of the first paras.

    i mean: first 3 paras are strongly in first person and directed to ‘you'(lover/partner)

    The 4th para could be taken in dfiferent senses: Asking ‘you’ ( ie the lover) Are you…? ( makes little sense in context); could also be asking you (the reader) the question; could be the lover talking back to you – (interrogation by the 2nd party);or even as self-interrogation – 4 diff senses (at least).
    .
    The last para ties it back up a little but is completely at odds with the vulnerability generated in the first para? Victim/perpetrator – initiator? or is the poem to suggest that no-one is ever truly either one or the other?

    • Chatty Owl says:

      Yes, totally see your point. The thing is, I wanted it to sound like that, for the last two to stand out. But i can see why you think it doesn’t really “go”. Thanks for this!! Will keep it in mind for the next time, as i really enjoy improving!

    • Bob says:

      A sting in the tale? I can go for that! šŸ™‚
      We all enjoy encouraging you ( in our own inimitable ways )…. it can be really satisfying to watch someone ‘grow’ before your very eyes šŸ˜‰

  2. J.R.Taylor says:

    I throughly enjoyed this poem! Screaming with so much pleasure all the while with that small snide smile of triumph at getting what is wanted.
    I love this minimalist style you have adopted. It makes every single word more weighted, making each count and keep you moving to the next because it forms a picture in the readers mind. In this case a very forbiddingly sensual act. It was beautiful! Great work! and Continue this style. You do it justice!
    And don’t worry about greatness….

    you’ve already achieved it, :)!

  3. Gordon Freeman says:

    Oh I say, I’m dreadfully sorry to have stumbled in on you like this…
    …in such a…uh…compromising position. But it appears as though my glasses have got a bit steamed up….um….If you could just point me in the direction of the exit then I’ll be on my way.

    — lol, I really shouldn’t stay up so late, it does strange things to my brain šŸ˜›

    • Chatty Owl says:

      He he he! Sorry for a late reply, been busy up to my eyes! And you make me smile so much, he he. Steamed up glasses are fun! šŸ˜‰

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